Wheat Bread - Jesu, Sun Kil Moon

March 20, 2016

Walkin' back from breakfast with Caroline and we stopped for iced tea

A fan stopped me on Decatur and said that she recognised me

I asked where she was from, she said «don't worry, not Planet Crazy»

I said «then where are you from?», and she said «Denver, Colorado»

I asked if she was involved with anyone and she said no

I said «this side I’ve been playing Denver for over two decades

And I’ve never met a person in my life from there who wasn’t in a relationship»

She said I was right, and that she moved there a few weeks ago

And everyone she’s met so far is coupled up and she’s still getting to know

Denver, Colorado

I said «well, you’re young», she said «not that young, I’m 31»

I said «like I said, you’re young»

I introduced her to Caroline and she said she heard her name

In a lot of my songs many times

She was polite and kind and not intrusive

I asked her what brought her to New Orleans and she said she was on a road trip

and it was a good stop down from Texas

I was just in Texas too, but I didn’t mention it, I just said «oh, that’s cool»

Some good things come from Texas, like Daniel Johnston and the Butthole Surfers

But the best thing to come out of Texas is Jack Johnson, the boxer

No, not the surfer musician, I’m talking about the first black heavyweight

champion

The turn-of-the-century fighter who had more balls than China has plates

More balls than me or you or anyone listening to this piece of music currently

living in the United States

When he went to Australia he didn’t have the luxury of complaining that it took

eighteen hours by flight

He didn’t even complain that by boat it took maybe sixty days and nights

He fought his rounds, came back with the heavyweight title

There’s a great book on him by Teresa Runstedler

And even an album dedicated to him by Miles Davis

I’m just back from Texas where I played a South by Southwest showcase

And here’s what people said to me:

«Hey Mark, did you hear that David Bowie liked your music?»

«Hey Mark, how come you only get to play for 40 minutes?»

«Hey Mark, I came all the way from Ireland»

«Hey Mark, why is the show delayed two hours?»

«Hey Mark, when is Universal Themes coming out on vinyl?»

«Hey Mark, when is Jesu/Sun Kil Moon coming out on vinyl?»

«Hey Mark, is Steve Shelley playing drums with you tonight?»

«Hey Mark, how’s South by Southwest treating you so far?»

«Hey Mark, are you gonna be in Roadies?»

«Hey Mark, when are you gonna play South Carolina?»

«Hey Mark you were really good in Shopgirl, you friends with Jason Schwartzman?

Did you get to meet Steve Martin?»

«Hey Mark, when’s your next movie?»

«Hey Mark, what are you gonna do after the show?»

«Hey Mark, are you gonna play Gustavo?»

«Hey Mark, are you gonna play anything from Benji?»

«Please play Carry Me Ohio, please?»

«Here's a copy of my demo.»

Ask all the questions you want to, and I’ll be polite

But I’m thinking «fuck you» ninety percent of the time

Not a harsh type of «fuck you»

Just a light little

«I-don't-wanna-talk-about-me-please-tell-me-a-little-about-you fuck you»

But a drunk girl approached me said «Mark, I don’t know you

But you know me, I mean, you think you know me, you think you know me, I mean,

you *think* you know me»

I was like «hmm, what was that all about, she was original, that’s for sure»

There’s some original shit that happens out there out in the rock 'n roll joint

Like I was in bed with these two gothy girls once after a show in Florida

When I got up to piss, I came back and they were putting their clothes on

really fast, all nervous and freakin' out

I was like «where are you going?»

And they said «there are four of us in here»

And I said «what are you talkin' about, four of us?»

And they said «trust us, there are four of us in here, Mark, and we’re leaving»

I was standing there naked and they ran past me and opened the door and I was

saying «where in the fuck are you guys going?»

They rushed out and I was standing there, feeling very very alone and all

shaken up

Then I was lookin' under the bed, and in the shower

And even out the window for this fourth person, and I didn’t see anyone

Those chicks scared the hell out of me

4 A.M., March 21st

My stomach’s been hurtin'

From all the red meat in Texas, so tonight we went strictly vegan

And we ate at a Vietnamese restaurant, down on Magazine

And during our walk there a friend texted me

He said «hey I’m in New Zealand», I said «hey I’m in New Orleans»

And we started textin' like a couple of kids

About making music together and the cost of touring

And blah blah blah blah blah blah

And starting boxing gyms

But when I texted him a few days later

And said that they were playing his music in a restaurant

He didn’t reply, he probably thought «fuck you»

Not a harsh «fuck you», but the kinda «fuck you» I mentioned earlier

He’s like me, not one to bask in hearing about people hearing his music in a

restaurant

What do you even say to that? «Wow, man, cool, I love to hear about myself,

send me some more»

Some of us are in it for the ego stroke, and some of us are in this racket

because it’s in our blood and we have no choice

Caroline and I came back and I took a hot bath and I worked on the credits for

the *Sings Favorites* album

March 27th, 2016

Seat 14D, United Airlines, Cleveland

To SFO, we ate in Akron last night with my mother and her boyfriend and friends

It was a very short trip to Ohio

But overall peaceful, and I got to surprise a friend

With a brand new TV and some money in the form of a cheque

And though she was very tired I convinced her to take a walk around the block

Which I think did her some good as she’d been so down on her luck

But I did funny little dances in her living room to entertain her

And played her some music from my *Sings Favorites* album, but she wasn’t

impressed

She said «Mark, these songs sound too much like the originals»

I said «That's the whole point, that it’s for moms and dads and little kids and

the whole family»

And she said «Well, did you sing my favorite song „Float On“ by Modest Mouse?»

And I said I did, but she’d have to wait

Her outlook on life seems to be getting bleaker and bleaker and bleaker and

bleaker and bleaker

I wanted to give her something to look forward to in the future

Ben was nice enough to give us a ride to the Cleveland airport

And do a quick photoshoot with me at the airport hotel

And when we arrived at the Sheridan last night in Cleveland

Because I needed a promotional photo for the *Sings Favorites* album

Caroline and I fell asleep watching the movie Spotlight

About lawsuits brought against the Catholic Church for priests molesting

children

It was an insightful movie about how a child can be manipulated

Into being molested

About how it can all start with a dirty joke

And escalate into other things that I won’t say

I can’t be a hundred percent sure, but I think I met a few child predators in

my day

Nothing I can quite bet a hundred percent on, but where, in my opinion,

the writing was on the wallpaper

I disassociate myself with people like that

And I rank child molesters as the lowest form of humanity in the world

Along with mass murderers and terrorists

I’m not a perfect human, and I’m on no superiority trip

But there’s a disgusting side to humanity, and that movie

And a few things I’ve seen in my life made me hate the fuckin' world

Just for a little while

Yeah, that’s right, while I watched that movie I hated the fuckin' world

Yeah, life can be tough, my friend isn’t well

She’s downward mentally, spiritually and physically

And I’m trying to do what I can to help

My father made a comment, «accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative»

I’m good at that, but there are negative forces out there that are hard to

prevent

They can sneak up on us out of nowhere

It’s hard to ignore that shit, how can we not care?

I gotta ask you something, do you attract obsessives?

I’m just curious, like when you have interactions with people

Do they make mental notes, or even written notes of everything you say,

I mean every little thing that you say?

Maybe you know what I’m talking about here, and if you don’t

I mean this sincerely, enjoy that part of your life

Do people discuss you as a human?

Or do people discuss you as a product?

I’m a human to most people who know me

But I fall into the product category for the most part, a target

I was born to be a product, yeah I’m used to that

You wanna hate on me, then hate on me

You got shit to throw at me, then throw it

You wanna punch me in the face, I’m easy to find

Throw the fuckin' punch, see if you can catch me

Either way, I love you, I really do, I got a lotta love in my heart

I got love for the haters, I even got love for the alligators

Mmm, blackened alligator, oh man, it’s the fuckin' best!

This life’s a racket where I trained to do what I’ve dreamed of since I was five

For anything else, who knows, but maybe nine-to-five

Ain’t so bad, you get to come home every day to your wife

And say «hey, did you see the news, Johnny Depp’s having a hell of a time»

3−29−2016, 12:31 A. M

I’m tired, I woke up at Caroline’s and had trouble gettin' out of bed

Thoughts of Ohio overwhelmed my head

Thoughts of the walk to Caroline’s place in Telegraph Hill

To my place, at the top of Nob Hill

Saddened me Paul Kantner won’t be at Trieste any more

And I dodged Caroline’s old apartment which reminds me of when we first got

together after I knocked on her door

When I got up, made her bed, and headed up the hill

Stopped at Molinari’s at 11 A.M., and got the Joe’s Special

Fuckin' wheat bread, I fuckin' hate wheat bread

Trust me, you’ll be eatin' boring stuff too when you’re pushing fifty unless

you wanna be dead

I came home to my apartment that hasn’t been cleaned since last year

I picked up some things, here and there

A keyboardist’s coming over tomorrow to rehearse for a summer tour

I went to deposit cheques and the one from New York

Looked like it’d been pulled out of a sewer

The bank teller, she still accepted it

A friend once told me that a cheque that I sent him disintegrated

Because it was in his wallet too long, and I thought it was bullshit,

and it made me laugh

And fuck, here I was with a twelve thousand dollar cheque that was torn in half

I couldn’t stop thinkin' of my sick friend

I was so distracted that I ended up leaving my wallet behind at the bank

The security guard was chasing me and yellin' my name

Was I being arrested for something? What could it be?

My wallet was handed to me by a security guard

Who didn’t resemble any cast members of the Beverly Hillbillies,

I’ll just say that

She had a really tough look, but she was polite

And had a really nice smile once I got closer

I ate ramen alone and on the way out the kid working there

Asked me why I bought so many bottles of water

I didn’t want to explain to a millenial that I had a 12 hour rehearsal the next

day as it would provoke more disingenuous questions

The place had just opened and was clearly being told

To be extra friendly to customers as some kind of shtick

To bring in more business

I’m gonna get my water elsewhere next time

I came home and thoughts of Ohio were still bothering me

So I created soap operas on my flip-phone with a few friends to distract myself

Caroline and I met for Chinese but we took the night off from each other as I

was so drained

We slept at our own places

The TV’s on but it’s turned down

My apartment’s a fuckin' mess

I unfolded a piece of paper that’s sat there forever

And a pile of hotel and restaurant receipts from Europe and Asia

It was a note from someone, something someone handed me on tour

You wanna know what it said?

Fuck you