One Of My Eyes Is A Clock - Jamie Lenman

I don’t want to live my life from the outside looking in\nThrough a camera phone lense\nSurely, that makes no sense\nHow can you enjoy yourself, if you’re always auditioning for an online fashion\nparade?\nA ghastly, grinning, gurning calvacade?\nPush your friends together, and all adopt a glassy smile\nClick and send so everyone knows you’re having all this fun\nWe don’t go to parties anymore, we go to huge non-paid photoshoots\nSo everyone can advertise their impressive, exciting, happy lives\nWhen did we get stuck in this whole vain mindset, pimping our moments on the\ninternet?\n«Movie of me», a timeline for all to see, compile your own documentary\nEven I know, and I’ve a great big fat ego, I’m not the star of a reality show\nI’m no-one\nYou’re no-one\nThey’re no-one\nSo now, please everyone\nLet’s just all get over ourselves\nAnd turn those fucking things off if you’re watching movies or a band\nWhy can no-one concentrate?\nIt’s not so hard, unless you’re eight\nCouples now in restaurants, face-to-face, just tapping away\nInches from each other, why’d they even bother?\nGood god\nIt’s so odd\nCan’t they even go sixty secs\nWithout reading or sending texts?\nThese things aren’t moving the human race on\nThey’re turning us into navel-gazing morons\nI’m frightened for our children\nOne day, I may simply give way\nAnd log on to say something inane\nTake forever, try to be clever\nType whatever, something like this\n«I'm sitting down», or «I just saw Will Smith murder a tramp.»\nYeah!\n«I'm drowning myself»\n«One of my eyes is a clock»